Learning to love ourselves is a priority even though the world makes it difficult. Social media, ignorance, and social standards are among some of the hurdles that we face everyday.
Suffering with obesity for 75% of my life has not been a walk in the park and a consistent reminder that I stick out rather I choose to or not.. But I had to learn to love myself despite the ignorance and the shaming. I look in the mirror everyday and I had to learn how to be comfortable with the woman that stared back at me. Normal folks do not understand that these pounds came from carrying my beautiful children and the struggles of getting rid of it is harder than packing it on. I have struggled at the gym and painfully navigated through many diets / lifestyle changes. I have taken the supplements and danced with the idea of surgery. I struggle being the woman that can’t get on amusement rides with her children and the mom that is exhausted easily. I have cried in my doctors office and had emotional breakdowns while visiting the bariatric specialist. I had allowed the option of daily fasting to become a regimen that I would soon terminate due to other health reasons. I was at a point of depression and anxiety.
I had to ‘overstand’ that the woman in the mirror was more than just fat. I am a woman, a black woman. I am a mother, I am a damn good friend, I am a hard worker, I am a Congolese dancer, I am a kickball player, I am an evolving actress, I am a woman that enjoys life, I am a woman that likes rap music, I am a cultural spirit that understands my purpose and life’s work. I am so much more. I am just who I was created to be.
I will continue to struggle with weight but I need to realize that it is not a struggle but a journey to healthy so that I can be around to experience all that I was meant to. I may or may not lose the weight but I will commit to being healthy, making healthy choices and supporting longevity of life as long as I can. I don’t mind staying active, that was never the issue. I just had to change the mindset and fall in love with self.
I grew to not care about the unsolicited advice of folks that believe I should look a certain way or look the way I did in high school.
I will continue to walk past that damn mirror and smile at the woman that looks back. I know that I am beautiful. I don’t want to fit into the social norm, as long as I am healthy and attempting a lifestyle change I am satisfied. It may throw me off emotionally when someone body shames me but I snap right out of it and remember that I am happy with myself.
Self love is more than just physical. The emotional and mental change is necessary. The physical will change when the emotional and mental align. No one knows your struggle but you and you are the only person that can change it.
I can’t tell you how many times that I hear, “I am too big for waistbeads”, “I am too old to wear those”, “I don’t have the body for those”.
You are what you say that you are. You are who you think you are. You are so it shall be. Quit putting other people’s negativity on you. Quit talking yourself out of emotional and mental wholeness. Waistbeads are so much deeper than just the physical. They are a part of the mental and emotional that you happen to wear on the physical.
Love you as you love yourself. If you society room to provide discomfort in your mind….they will. Social norms don’t line up with cultural norms. Social norms don’t line up with spiritual. Social norms is keeping up with……why keep up with when you already are!
I can’t express enough about self love and the sacrifices that we have to make to ensure our mental wellness. Make the person that you see in the mirror someone that you grow more in love with each day. Find a reason everyday to love yourself more.
The mental….the emotional….the physical
I am happy with the saggy boobs, I am happy with the fupa and the back rolls, I am happy with the thick thighs, I am happy with the double chin…..
Cause if I don’t overly love myself then who will!
Overstand and enact!
